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| June 6th, 2007 |
Two other stars are having a centennial year--Barbara Stanwyck and Gene Autry. Barbara was one of the best and certainly the most versatile of all screen actresses. She could do high drama and low comedy, whatever the script called for. She was married twice --to comedian Frank Fay and MGM star Robert Taylor. Both ended in divorce.
Fay made her a philanthrophist by accident. When she and Fay lived in Northridge, she bought a brand new Cadillac, which was delivered and parked in the driveway of their palatial estate. While Barbara was out, the parish priest visited, seeking donations to the annual church festival. Fay was at home celebrating his sixth scotch of the afternoon. He spotted the new Cadillac in the driveway and gave the keys to the overjoyed priest. Barbara came home to no Cadillac. She thought someone had stolen it. Fay was too full of scotch to be of any help. The next day, a Sunday, Barbara went to mass and heard the priest praise her generosity. She was surprised to hear that she had donated a brand new Cadillac, fully equipped, to be raffled at the church festival. At the priest 's request, she stood up and took a bow. What else could she do?
Autry, too, was a star who loved to drink. He and his famous horse, Champion, went on a rodeo tour each year between pictures. It so happened that a brand new Champion opened with him at New York 's Madison Square Garden.
Showtime was 8 p.m. Autry was due to ride Champion through a huge paper hoop. The wrangler approached Gene around noon of opening day and said: "Mr. Autry, you have a new horse. You better work with him this afternoon on that entrance through the hoop. He 's a little feisty and may not like that entrance.
Gene also was celebrating his sixth double scotch and told the wrangler: "I can ride any horse, bucking bronco or tame, through that hoop. I've done it a thousand times."
The wrangler, shaking his head, led the horse back to its stall. By showtime, the wrangler had to hoist Gene onto the horse 's saddle. The wrangler was about to strap Gene into the saddle but the band struck up "Back in the Saddle Again" and Gene and the horse buzzed off at a fast gallop. Suddenly, it stopped. The horse had never seen the hoop before. The stop was so sudden, Gene flew off his saddle and sailed head first through the paper hoop all by himself. The audience cheered, whistled and stood up en masse. They had never ever seen such a spectacular entrance like this one.
Gene landed in a heap on the dirt floor, got up, brushed himself off with his big Stetson and took a bow. Miraculously, he was unhurt and made it look like he always started his show that way. The wrangler came out and led the horse, with Gene following, backstage. The bizarre entrance had sobered Gene somewhat, at least enough for him to stay on his feet with only a slight stagger. He finally made it to the first aid tent where a nurse addressed his bruises. Gene had another double scotch to ease his nerves. "On with he show!" yelled Gene.
The old showbusiness tradition was upheld. This time with no paper hoops.
My pal George (Goober) Lindsey only performs five to eight times a year, but the Andy Griffith show, which is still running, gets him bookings in such places as Pigeon Forge, TN. Since he now works sparingly, an interviewer recently asked him what he does in his spare time.
"Go to lunch," answered George.
How I miss playing in the George Lindsey Celebrity Weekend and Golf Tournament in Montgomery, Alabama. George flew a bunch of celebrity pals like Fred MacMurray, Ernie Borgnine, Freddie De Cordova, etc., down from Hollywood to play and benefit the Special Olympics. The annual tournament raised millions for the intellectually disabled children, a special project of the Kennedy family.
I was on the Hee Haw TV show with George five or six times. In one cornfield sketch, Lindsey said: "Jim Bacon, Hollywood columnist, have I got a scoop for you. And then he pushed an ice cream cone in my face. After I wiped off the ice cream, my nose was bleeding from the sharp edges of the cone. The producer rushed me to the first aid station where the nurse said: "I've been a nurse for 40 years and this my first ice cream cone injury."
Author Brad Lewis sent me a copy of his new book Celebrity Gangster, The Incredible Life and Times of Mickey Cohen. As soon as I read it, I'll report on it for you. I remember one night Mickey invited me to go to the Mocambo with him. He had a dish of ice cream. I had one scotch. The tab was a 100 bucks. I used the Groucho line: "Mickey, this is outrageous. If I were you I wouldn't pay it." He looked at the tab and threw down two hundred dollar bills, paying the bill with a 100 buck tip.
"Mickey," I said. "Where do you get your money?"
"I have friends who have confidence in me. They loan me the money. They know they'll get it back someday."
Personally, I thought he got it by raising a million dollars for arms for Israel, the new state then in its infancy. A few months later he told the town 's newspapers that the Palestinians had sunk the ship before it reached Israel. Surprisingly, they all bought his story. Was there ever a shipful of arms for Israel? Mickey 's lifestyle was akin to a millionaire's. He once showed me his walk-in closet. He had more custom tailored suits than Brooks Bros. He also had 60 pairs of custom designed shoes. The only thing we 're sure of is that Israel got no arms from Mickey.
Dean Martin has been dead for several years but people still ask me if he was drunk all the time. No, I tell them. Dean drank moderately --Old Moderately.
His drunk act was just that--an act. That glass he held onstage at the Riviera in Las Vegas contained apple juice. Sinatra spilled more than Dean drank.
True, Dean didn't see anything unusual about the Leaning Tower of Pisa when he visited Italy. And who else would go into McDonald 's and ask to see the wine list? I had known Dean from 1946 and never once saw him drunk. He 'll drink enough to get a little glow, but that's all.
However, Dean was a complex man in many ways. He would not ride an elevator. I know because we shared the same dentist in Beverly Hills. I have seen him climb the eight flights of stairs to the late Dr. Max Shapiro's office. Many times.
He had a big thing about illness or death. When his brother Bill, his mother Angela, and his father Guy died, I always got the same call from ex-wife Jeannie.
"Don't mention the time of the funeral. Dean is afraid a lot of Italians will show up, crying over the coffin. He couldn 't take that."
In person or on TV, he was so relaxed, he made Perry Como look fidgety. Yet Dean had an ulcer for years. Although he was the single biggest landowner in Ventura county, he couldn 't find his way to Oxnard. He did his TV show for years with only a dress rehearsal. And he fought with producer Greg Garrison to dump the dress. He was a top, low handicap golfer but always played with guys who were a stroke or two better. He used to lose about $3,000 a month on the golf course. Some of the guys he played with could take money from Phil Michelson or Vijay Singh.
When his son Dino crashed his National Guard plane on a mountain top, Dean slowly died from grief.
He basically was a kind, loving father--never a swinger--but he didn't want people to know that.